Bullying

http://http//today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39620074/ns/today-today_people

Have you heard about the four students who suicided as a result of bullying in Mentor, OH? If not, click on the link above for information regarding the incidents and links to other related articles. News of this hit last week, and it has continued to dominate websites since then. I was listening to a Cleveland radio station the other morning, and they were discussing this story since Mentor is not far from Cleveland.

One caller who called in, a teen girl who attends the school, said it's not true - bullying is not occurring. She flat out denied anything of the sort going on. My question is: what planet is she on? Seriously - where is she living? I might not be a teen, but I am in a local high school/middle school every week, and I can GUARANTEE bullying is going on. Our group facilitators are in every middle school and high school in Ashland County, and I guarantee you: bullying is happening on a daily basis. Ashland maybe a small community, but I highly doubt it's that different from Mentor High School. I also highly doubt Mentor is "immune" from the bullying issue. So instead of debating whether or not bullying is "really" happening, let's assmue it is and stop debating THAT - and start figuring out what to do to change it.

In a related story, I attended a girls' high school soccer game last night between two Ashland County teams. There was quite a bit of pushing and shoving going on, significantly from one of the teams but the other team was not innocent. As the game progressed, it became more and more aggressive. Now I was sitting in the stands with the more aggressive team's fans, and I could hear the students cheering the girls on to be more aggressive and push the other team around. I expect some of that; they're teens and don't always know better. However, I started to pay more attention to the parents who I could hear laughing and joking when one of the other team's players went down - from a foul committed by their team. The biggest shock came late in the game, when one of the team's players received a yellow card for obviously and maliciously attacking the other team's player from behind. Having played soccer, I know this is the type of attack that can break someone's leg. The students cheered, and the parents laughed. One parent even said, "I'm so proud. It's not even my daughter, but I'm proud of her." In disgust, I got up and left the stands.

Now I ask - is it any wonder we have girls getting into fights more frequently than even the boys at this point? Is it any wonder bullying is such a significant issue? If we have parents encouraging and PRAISING their teens for essentially sucker-punching girls on a soccer field, then why would they not beat the crap out of someone for making a smart remark? Indeed, they might even get a "I'm proud of you" from their parents when they get home.

We all need a wake-up call. Parents, be accountable to and for your kids. And kids, be accountable for standing up when someone treats someone else badly. If you don't do it, then who will? But if you DO stand up for someone, think of who else might do it for someone else, and just think about where that might lead. No one else should die just because someone wants a good laugh that day. Stick up for someone & someone might stick up for you.

Beautiful Disaster

You can watch the video for this song by going here.

This was a song that was played for me recently, and it really hits on some of the struggles young girls are having right now, especially during teenage years. The song struck a chord with me, and hopefully it will you too. Below are the lyrics so you can hear the song for yourself:

She loves her mama's lemonade, Hates the sounds that goodbyes make. She prays one day she'll find someone to need her. She swears that there's no difference, Between the lies and complements. It's all the same if everybody leaves her. And every magazine tells her she's not good enough, The pictures that she sees make her cry.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, And she needs someone to take her home.

She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant, Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction. She never stays the same for long, Assuming that she'll get it wrong. Perfect only in her imperfection. She's not a drama queen, She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen but tired.

She would change everything for happy ever after. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, But she just needs someone to take her home.

Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok. And she would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, And she would change everything for happy ever after. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, But she just needs someone to take her home And just needs someone to take her home.

New Twists on Not-So-New Issues for Girls

Yesterday Erin was talking about this very subject while I was working on installing a new printer at the office. And then this morning this came across the inbox. It is an interesting article by Kara Powell and Brad Griffin from the Center for Youth & Family at Fuller Seminary.

While it may seem to some that adolescence hasn't changed much for girls in recent years, research and media trends indicate at least three areas they've identified as needing our renewed attention as youth workers. In this article they share ideas for responding to three "mores" that bring new twists to some perhaps-familiar issues: more sexy, more pressure, and more violence.

Go here to read the whole article.