Girls more likely than boys to have risky first sex

A recent study has revealed that teen girls are less likely to use condoms during their first sexual encounter than teen boys. To read the article, click here. When this article was first presented to me, I replied with, "Yes, of course. I figured that." I was asked why I thought that, which led into a much deeper conversation about teens, sex, relationships, power, and choice.

For me, this one is a no-brainer. When you have talked with teen girls who have had sex, many of them will describe it as "It just happened." "I didn't plan it." "I didn't know that was going to happen." What does that tell you? THE GIRLS WERE NEVER ASKED IF THEY WANTED TO HAVE SEX. So, let's take this discussion one step further. If you are never ASKED if you want to have sex, then what will you never ask the other person to use? a CONDOM. Now you know why this study was not surprising to me at all.

You see, females often do not feel like they have a voice in a relationship. Yes, they have a "voice" as in they talk. But they often do not feel like they have any "power." Especially if the young woman is in a relationship with an older boy, then she really doesn't feel like she has power. As a result, if you have no power in a relationship - then you won't feel justified in demanding or insisting someone use a condom to protect you. This, my friends, is the problem. This is why we currently have job security! And, this is why we call them "Empowerment Groups." So, the work goes on.

Any thoughts? Am I off base or on track? I am curious to hear what others think too. And please - let's teach them ALL to use protection when they decide to have sex, for themselves and their partners.

10 year old gives birth in Spain

Did you hear? A 10 year old girl has given birth in Spain this week (don't believe me? Google it!). And her mother is thrilled. Apparently, the girl is from Romania and is part of a group of gypsies who marry very young, before they are legally allowed to marry. So this 10 year old had "married" a 13 year old boy and became pregnant. Now, they are going to be parents, and the mother is thrilled and said they are all doing well. Thrilled, hmm? Interesting....

I just wonder how a 10 year old even begins to conceive of being a mother. Think back to your own 10 year old self. I think I had trouble even remembering to brush my teeth consistently when I was 10 years old. The thought of me being responsible for another human being at that age is SCARY. Responsibility did not equal me back then; ask my parents. I also just wonder what the heck the poor girl thought about sex at that age. I mean really, wouldn't she have been scared to death? I go to an elementary school and talk about puberty with their 4th graders. I remember a 4th grade girl tentatively raising her hand, after I had shown the video and described menstrual cycles and reproduction, and asking, "Just because my body is ready to do all of that, does that mean I have to start doing it?" NOOOO!!! I think was my response. And, "As a matter of fact, I recommend that none of you do this for a very long time, because you won't be ready for awhile." But hey, with this group of people, they'd be ready next week! Again, SCARY.

I am all about cultural diversity and understanding others who are different from you. But really, 10 years old for a child to be giving birth - and to be married? Just because bodies are ready to do all of that doesn't mean minds, and hearts, and heads, and souls are ready. We don't live in the cave man days anymore; we aren't on the verge of extinction. We will have plenty of people to populate the earth. And if we have 10 year olds having babies, then we will OVER-populate the earth in no time. Why the rush? I understand why our bodies had to be ready to reproduce early, but the same urgency is not there now. So come on Romanian gypsies, can we PLEASE slow down? There are so many other things 10 year olds could be doing. And being a mom doesn't even make the top 100.